
The first time I make ghormeh sabzi by Tina Ehsanipour
Poetry
The first time I make ghormeh sabzi
by Tina Ehsanipour

“the kind of food we make / doesn’t come from recipe pages, / it comes from the hands of women / too busy to abide by directions”
The first time I make ghormeh sabzi
by Tina Ehsanipour
My mother doesn’t cook in measured
tablespoons or cups,
it is always
some oil
a little zardchoobeh
handfuls of whatever herbs on hand
and enough water to cover it all
she expects my hands to understand
the kind of food we make
doesn’t come from recipe pages,
it comes from the hands of women
too busy to abide by directions
so I fry onions and turmeric
until the smell of home
convinces me I can do this,
I can make this khoresh,
even if I can’t read the newspaper in Farsi
and my accent is like a map of the years I’ve been away
I chop the herbs
until there is enough life in the pot I stir
even if I constantly worry it is not enough
that I am not enough
I add the water and beans
even though the water I crossed as a child
was a one-way ticket away
from the only home I had known
I stir in a little tomato paste
even though I don’t remember my mom ever adding it,
(but she said it thickens the stew, so I try)
I ignore how the color looks off,
why didn’t I pay more attention as a child?
too eager to eat
too naïve to understand how difficult it would be
to mimic my mother’s skilled hands
to know the difference between enough and too much
I taste with my nose and my tongue
add lemon juice and gard-e limoo
and even if it doesn’t look exactly the same,
even though Maman makes
three times as much in a third of the time,
it still tastes and smells like
my mother’s kitchen,
like oil and herbs and spices, just
a little less oily
a little more red
a little less salty
As I eat my bowl of khoresh,
poured over my Instant Pot basmati rice
(don’t judge)
I look at my hands,
impressed they were able to find
their way back home.
FEATURED IMAGE BY Shireen Ehsanipour Orr
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tina Ehsanipour is an Iranian-born, California-raised writer and high school English teacher. Her poetry has appeared in small presses and her one-act play was performed by Golden Thread Productions, a San Francisco-based theatre company focused on the Middle East. She is currently working on a novel. Tina lives with her husband and twins in the Bay Area. Find her on Twitter @TinaEhsanipour. More at tinaehsanipour.com.
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The first time I make ghormeh sabzi by Tina Ehsanipour
The first time I make ghormeh sabzi by Tina Ehsanipour